The “Confidence Gap” is keeping the status quo alive. Here’s what we can ALL do.

 

“If women were more confident, they’d be more successful.”

The Truth: This so-called confidence gap keeps the status quo alive and strong. It puts allll the attention (and burden) on women. It fuels inadequacy. It says “success is waiting for you, if – and only if – you step up and speak up.” (lie)

We live and work in a system that is still predominantly designed and maintained by (and for) white men.

• When we evaluate women on “executive presence” – who do we compare her to?
• When we hear a woman promote her accomplishments – what gut reaction do we have?
• When we get to 30% women representation – why do we call it good?
• When none of the decision makers are women of color – why do we make excuses for it?
• When we are asked to draw a leader – why do so many of us draw men?

We find ourselves in a “yes/and” situation.

YES – the system is filled with backlash, is F-ed, needs to change, and IS changing!)

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AND – WE can ALL change it by doing our part to:

• build self-promotion skills and help others to do the same (Talking about our work is 100% part of our careers.)

 

• negotiate our salaries/rates even when it feels uncomfortable (and encourage salary transparency at your work)

 

• support BIWOC (Black, Indigenous, Women of Color) however we can (here’s a list of 7 ways)

 

• give resources to our managers around gender and racial bias and follow-up with them about it

 

• say something when we hear discriminatory comments, including “Tell me more…”

 

• run for office

 

• vote!!!

 

• manage our finances 

 

• quit jobs/clients that no longer serve us

 

• apply for a job and/or promotion that makes us nervous (& encourage woman to apply)

 

• put a stop to our self-deprecating humor

 

• use disclaimers like “I know women who negotiate can be judged harshly” and then advocate for our worth anyway

 

• raise kiddos who lead with kindness and know their worth

 

• dig into (and share) what makes us remarkable everyday

 

• protect our precious time from energy vampires

 

• question the wage gap at work

 

• start the meeting with everyone sharing a WIN to normalize self-promotion

 

• amplify women’s achievements & build up the women and LGBTQ+ folks in our lives

 

• audit our social media feeds to ensure we’re accessing diverse perspectives 

 

 

It’s easy to accept the simplified explanation of the “confidence gap” and move on. To be honest, there was a time when I did. Make sure you know the whole story.