The “Confidence Gap” is keeping the status quo alive. Here’s what we can ALL do.


If women were more confident, they’d be more successful.”

The Truth: This so-called confidence gap keeps the status quo alive and strong. It puts allll the attention (and burden) on women. It fuels inadequacy. It says “success is waiting for you, if – and only if – you step up and speak up.” (lie)

We live and work in a system that is still predominantly designed and maintained by (and for) white men.

  • When we evaluate women on “executive presence” – who do we compare her to?
  • When we hear a woman promote her accomplishments – what gut reaction do we have?
  • When we get to 30% women representation – why do we call it good?
  • When none of the decision makers are women of color – why do we make excuses for it?
  • When we are asked to draw a leader – why do so many of us draw men?

We find ourselves in a “yes/and” situation.

YES – the system is filled with backlash, is F-ed, needs to change, and IS changing!)


AND – WE can ALL change it by doing our part to:





  • say something when we hear discriminatory comments, including “Tell me more…”


  • run for office


  • vote!!!



  • quit jobs/clients that no longer serve us


  • apply for a job and/or promotion that makes us nervous (& encourage woman to apply)


  • put a stop to our self-deprecating humor


  • use disclaimers like “I know women who negotiate can be judged harshly” and then advocate for our worth anyway


  • raise kiddos who lead with kindness and know their worth


  • dig into (and share) what makes us remarkable everyday


  • protect our precious time from energy vampires


  • question the wage gap at work


  • start the meeting with everyone sharing a WIN to normalize self-promotion


  • amplify women’s achievements & build up the women and LGBTQ+ folks in our lives


  • audit our social media feeds to ensure we’re accessing diverse perspectives 



It’s easy to accept the simplified explanation of the “confidence gap” and move on. To be honest, there was a time when I did. Make sure you know the whole story.