The “Confidence Gap” is keeping the status quo alive. Here’s what we can ALL do.
“If women were more confident, they’d be more successful.”
The Truth: This so-called confidence gap keeps the status quo alive and strong. It puts all the attention (and burden) on women. It fuels inadequacy. It says “success is waiting for you, if – and only if – you step up and speak up.” (lie)
We live and work in a system that is still predominantly designed and maintained by (and for) white men.
When we evaluate women on “executive presence” – who do we compare her to?
When we hear a woman promote her accomplishments – what gut reaction do we have?
When we get to 30% women representation – why do we call it good?
When none of the decision makers are women of color – why do we make excuses for it?
When we are asked to draw a leader – why do so many of us draw men?
We find ourselves in a “yes/and” situation.
YES – the system is filled with backlash, is F-ed, needs to change, and IS changing!)
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AND – WE can ALL change it by doing our part to:
build self-promotion skills and help others to do the same (Talking about our work is 100% part of our careers.)
negotiate our salaries/rates even when it feels uncomfortable (and encourage salary transparency at your work)
support BIWOC (Black, Indigenous, Women of Color) however we can (here’s a list of 7 ways)
give resources to our managers around gender and racial bias and follow-up with them about it
say something when we hear discriminatory comments, including “Tell me more…”
run for office
vote!!!
quit jobs/clients that no longer serve us
apply for a job and/or promotion that makes us nervous (and encourage woman to apply)
put a stop to our self-deprecating humor
use disclaimers like “I know women who negotiate can be judged harshly” and then advocate for our worth anyway
raise kiddos who lead with kindness and know their worth
dig into (and share) what makes us remarkable everyday (sign up for one of my #IamRemarkable workshops)
protect our precious time from energy vampires
question the wage gap at work (download this free toolkit on conducting in-house gender and racial pay equity audits)
start the meeting with everyone sharing a WIN to normalize self-promotion
amplify women’s achievements & build up the women and LGBTQ+ folks in our lives
audit our social media feeds to ensure we’re accessing diverse perspectives
It’s easy to accept the simplified explanation of the “confidence gap” and move on. To be honest, there was a time when I did. Make sure you know the whole story.
