It's totally okay to not want more out of work.
The other day I was facilitating a group coaching session when one of the women said she had something to confess.
Woman:
“You’ve all been sharing that you want promotions and to talk to your managers about what's next.
The thing is…I don’t want that. I’m fine staying where I am. And I feel like I might be seen as lazy. I feel nervous even saying this to you right now."
⬆️ ⬆️ ⬆️ ⬆️
(This is me glitching b/c I was so happy this came up!!!!)
There it is. Lazy.
The word none of us want to be called.
And yet - she was showing up and “going above and beyond” in her job.
(Why do we need to go “above and beyond”? Can't we just do the jobs we are being paid for?!)
How many times have you felt like if you don’t want MORE, there’s something wrong with you?
There ISN’T. What IS wrong is the system that makes you believe that MORE is always the answer.
That if you're not “living up to your fullest potential” - you're failing. That a promotion, more money, more power, more perceived status, more ____, will lead to life satisfaction.
It’s a lie and it's making us sick.
Including me! The coaching industry is fraught with messages meant to make you feel like a complete loser if you’re not aiming to make 6-figures, be a TikTok influencer, and use bro-marketing tactics to make sales. Things like “You only have 24 hours to get this deal!” and “This coaching offer will transform your life!”
Um…no, I can’t change your life. Only you can do that. And only if you want to.
It’s all so cringey and I try my best to stay away. But it’s hard. Because, like you, I’ve absorbed these “not enough” messages my whole life.
For a deeper dive into these MORE ALWAYS AT ALL COSTS messages, I highly recommend Tara McMullin’s podcast exploring The Cult of Never Enough” where she interviews Manisha Thakor, founder of MoneyZen.
It was hard to decide on just one quote, but here goes:
““Deconstruction of our beliefs about success, work, money, and even who deserves what is critical to our ability to construct healthier, more satisfying lives. If we want out of the Cult of Never Enough, we have to do the work to understand why we started to believe we weren’t enough in the first place.””
I'm not poo-pooing ambition. Be ambitious - but do it for your own reasons. Stop filling the pockets of shareholders who profit from you not feeling enough. 💗
