What do your advisors have to say?
If you’ve ever engaged in any kind of coaching or personal development, you’ve likely done an exercise where you were given a list of core values and asked to choose the ones that feel most foundational to you.
Core values are beliefs, ideals, and personal ethics that guide you - either explicitly or in the background. They can be conscious or unconscious.
A few months ago I found myself doing this core value exercise again through a program called Visibility Medicine by Visibility Coach & Photographer, Danielle Cohen. (She’s incredible, btw). My initial reaction when I saw this values exercise pop up was “Ugh, I’ve done this SO MANY TIMES. I know what my values are!” and yet… it was super useful to revisit. With Danielle’s guidance, I was able to go so much deeper than I had before.
If you are someone who get’s a little eye-rolley 🙄🙄 at the idea of looking at your core values (again), I want to encourage you to give it another shot.
Hopefully the three takeaways I’m about to share with you will give you the nudge you need.
Image above: A photo of my values with cute icons made in Canva to represent each advisor. I have this posted above my desk.
My three main takeaways from revisiting my core values again are:
#1 - Investigate where your values come from.
Our values fall into three buckets:
Automatic = these are inherited / conditioned / programmed values
Lived = what we’re doing in real time
Aspirational = how we most want to be
Honing in on the origination of your values helps you decide whether it gets to stay on your list.
For example: one of my values used to be “responsibility.” This translated to “You follow through no matter what.”
When I dove into this further, I recognized the value of hustling at all costs is one that was blueprinted onto me, not one I chose for myself.
#2 - Define your core values as much as you can.
Values are deeply personal. Don't accept it at face value. Instead, ask yourself “what do I mean by [value]?” a few times.
For example, “freedom” is one of my core values. When I peeled back the onion, what I truly meant is personal freedom to choose what to do with my time. That differed greatly from another participant’s definition of freedom, which was about being their authentic self.
#3 - Let your values be your advisors.
Each of your values represents inner knowing. They are your guides! When times are good, when you’re in the messy middle, and when you’re making decisions. Call upon them. They have so much wisdom to share!
Questions to ask your advisors:
What does [value] want me to know right now?
Who wants to guide me with [decision I need to make]?
What does [value] have to say about [situation]?
For example, if I’m stuck on whether to post something on LinkedIn about my work, I may call upon my value of “community." She reminds me that there are people on LinkedIn who will connect to what I have to say.
Also, it’s kinda fun to picture each of my values in outfits. 🕶️ 🎩 👢
This is my “Unapologetic Courage.” ⤵️
Source: Giphy.com. Kate Mckinnon Flirting GIF By Saturday Night Live
Next steps to dive deeper into your core values:
If I’ve convinced you to take a deeper look at your core values, here’s what I encourage you to do:
Decide whether you’ll go analog 🖊️ or digital 🖥️ for your writing.
Set a timer for 25-minutes (Pomodoro Technique for the win!).
If you don’t know what your 3-5 core values are, take a look at this list and choose based on your instincts. If you feel like you don’t have a good sense of that, get a friend involved and ask them what they think your core values are. Compare lists. (This may take longer than 25 minutes).
Once you’ve identified 3-5 core values, do some writing on the following questions:
👉 Where does each value comes from? Take a look at the 3 origination buckets above (inherited, lived, and aspirational).
👉 What do you really mean by each value?
👉 What is a meaningful decision you need to make? Choose one of your values to guide you. What is their advice to you?
