The “Confidence Gap” is keeping the status quo alive. Here’s what we can ALL do.

If women were more confident, they’d be more successful.”

The Truth: This so-called confidence gap keeps the status quo alive and strong. It puts all the attention (and burden) on women. It fuels inadequacy. It says “success is waiting for you, if – and only if – you step up and speak up.” (lie)

We live and work in a system that is still predominantly designed and maintained by (and for) white men.

  • When we evaluate women on “executive presence” – who do we compare her to?

  • When we hear a woman promote her accomplishments – what gut reaction do we have?

  • When we get to 30% women representation – why do we call it good?

  • When none of the decision makers are women of color – why do we make excuses for it?

  • When we are asked to draw a leader – why do so many of us draw men?

We find ourselves in a “yes/and” situation.

YES – the system is filled with backlash, is F-ed, needs to change, and IS changing!)

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AND – WE can ALL change it by doing our part to:

  • say something when we hear discriminatory comments, including “Tell me more…”

  • run for office

  • vote!!!

  • quit jobs/clients that no longer serve us

  • apply for a job and/or promotion that makes us nervous (and encourage woman to apply)

  • put a stop to our self-deprecating humor

  • use disclaimers like “I know women who negotiate can be judged harshly” and then advocate for our worth anyway

  • raise kiddos who lead with kindness and know their worth

  • protect our precious time from energy vampires

  • start the meeting with everyone sharing a WIN to normalize self-promotion

  • amplify women’s achievements & build up the women and LGBTQ+ folks in our lives

  • audit our social media feeds to ensure we’re accessing diverse perspectives

It’s easy to accept the simplified explanation of the “confidence gap” and move on. To be honest, there was a time when I did. Make sure you know the whole story. 

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